Hi. Sorry if this is bad writing, English is not my first language, but I need advice and to vent.
Me and my boyfriend have been together almost 3 years. We live together with his 2 kids (6f and 4m). We have become a family and i truly love his kids. Their mother is not in the picture.
I know my boyfriend has had a problem with alcohol in the past, he was open with me about it. I’ve had an ex who was an alcoholic. I have my own trauma with that and I’m dealing with it the best i can. I have told my boyfriend time to time that I’m not comfortable with his drinking, but i also know that i can’t forbit him not to drink.
So to the current situation.
Last autumn he started to have problems with his health. He was exhausted and once when he was walking to the store he almost fainted. Ambulance was called and they found nothing. Later we found out it was a panic attack. So he has anxiety, that’s fine i have too and i have medication for it. He felt like he couldn’t handle work, it made him anxious etc. I told him to be incontact to his work healthcare and he did. He got all the help he needed from that. I’m so fucking proud of him. We talked and we cried and we talked some more. My ex never got helped when we were together. This meant everything to me.
It took him time, but later my boyfriend told me that he has a drinking problem. He told me that he has gotten help to it and he has a medication for it (Antabuse). At this point my anxiety lifted its head because this kind of took me by surprise and kind of didn’t. I don’t know how to explain it. He said that the socialworkers are going to visit us because he is the only legal guardian to the kids and he has a problem with alcohol. The meeting went great they offered us help (1st meeting was in November) and they are going to visit us again in few weeks.
I have had anxiety on/off about this situation. I understand that talking about this must be hard, but he only started talking to me about the alcohol part when he he had to, when he found out that socialworkers were coming. I have zero trust in him when it comes to alcohol. I wish I could be the one telling him that he can do this, but I simply can’t. My ex was an alcoholic, my uncle was an alcoholic and now my boyfriend has alcohol problem. I feel helpless.
The easy solution would be to break up. But is it that simple at this point when there are kids involved?
A bit more info: My boyfriend has a bit traumatic childhood. He has figured out in therapy that now that his life is “good in paper” he has let his feelings come out. If you get what I’m trying to say…
Any advice is more than welcome.
