So I am 34M, I am married and own a home with my wife (26f) in Los Angeles. my younger brother is 32M and he has never lived on his own.. lived with my dad until around 24, he then moved into his girlfriends parents house until he was like 28 maybe, they broke up so my dad gifted him a condo that was above his business. he got a ton of free passes with my dad, he trashed the condo, didn’t take care of anything, and my dad finally decided to retire and sell it because he couldn’t take it anymore. my brother is also on his 3rd car, all bought by our grandfather.
about 3-4 months ago was when he got kicked out, he came to our door begging and I knew exactly how it was going to go. I told him he had one month to get his shit together, and kept caving.
my wife is an actress, and she only books about once every 6 months. she does auditions/classes daily for an hour or two, she mostly does “housewife stuff”. I told him right off the bat she was not doing any of it for him, I don’t care if he’s working 5 jobs he is doing his own laundry, cleaning, and cooking.
of course he left messes, threw his laundry on the floor, made the argument that he is working full time and she’s not.. I was like, this is HER home? then when I told him he’d have to pay bills 2 months in, he got mad and said she does not pay bills.. she is my wife and she takes care of our home. Anytime I told him to stop making extra work for her he would say “she’s a housewife, she’s doing it for you so I don’t understand why she cant for me”. he even asked why I get to have my laundry done, and meals cooked for me but he cant and “works as much as me”.
It drove me crazy, he also would make noises while my wife was in auditions which was frustrating for her. not even accidental, like screaming watching a sports game 5 seconds after we told him she was going on zoom.. this was one of my breaking points. she has dedicated her whole life to this, since she was like 9. when I started making good money the first thing I was excited about was that she could focus on her dreams.
she finally got a good agent, her auditions she gets are huge and she is on cloud 9. as soon as he started doing this I noticed she was getting stressed, one of the main issues is he works nights.. he was there all day while I was at work and if she asked him to be quiet he did not care. he said he didn’t consider it a career and he didn’t think she’d make it so he didn’t feel the need to care. as if her making it or not changed anything about it being her home, and her dreams. if I was home and told him to shut up, he would. however during the day he did not listen to her and made her cry. That was the day I told him to get out, he’s had enough free passes. its time to grow up. my other brothers got mad, said I’m heartless because he’s struggling mentally… but the guy has been struggling mentally since he was 16 and has never attempted therapy, meds, anything. he just cries and relies on everyone to do everything.
Content Source: r/AmItheAsshole